Kate Upton’s Super Bowl TV Ad Is so Hot Your Eyeballs Will Melt

By on January 30, 2013
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When you’re watching this weekend’s Super Bowl XLVII (how many is that, exactly?), you might want to keep your eyes peeled for a new Kate Upton ad that’s already making the rounds on the Internet. Upton, as any Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue fan boy will tell you, is the extremely buxom, blonde, 20-year-old model who has been making men’s tongues fall out of their mouths ever since she appeared in 2011’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Her new commercial for Mercedes-Benz will be aired this weekend as the 49ers and Ravens clash in the Super Bowl.

The ad shows her in slow motion while wearing short jeans shorts and a cleavage-displaying, black tank top, obviously done to focus as much attention as humanly possible on her…curves. The implication of the ad is that Upton will eventually wash Mercedes-Benz’s new 2014 CLA-Class (funny, but I thought that Upton was being marketed, not the actual car). However, the ad shows a bunch of college-age football players washing the car instead, as they drool and gawk in open-mouthed wonder at Upton and her…curves. I guess that the Girls Gone Wild series was also shooting a commercial, just around the corner from this Mercedes-Benz ad!

All this ad proves is that sex still sells more than ever, that some women love to objectify themselves for money, and that some men will start drooling uncontrollably when Upton and some cleavage walk by. However, the truth of the matter is that Upton herself isn’t doing women any favors at all by simply reducing herself as an object for this ad. You can almost hear the feminists groaning and kvetching in response to this ad.

Upton also sets a horrible example for young, impressionable tween and teen girls, who are already bombarded 24/7 by media and magazines that tell them only looks count. To wit, the Parents Television Council is already all over Mercedes-Benz like white on rice for this ad!

At the end of the day, the only real winners are Upton (she gets a fatter wallet), Mercedes-Benz (it gets bad/good publicity), the Super Bowl (like it needs more publicity?), and Girls Gone Wild (don’t tell me you’re not thinking Girls Gone Wild after the Upton ad!). As far as ads that sell sex go, this one is so lame because Paris Hilton (socialite who’s famous for doing nothing and misbehaving) already beat Upton to this I’ll-Sexily-Wash-Your-Car ad “concept.” Remember her Carl Jr.’s ad from several years ago? Upton’s new ad is so last decade.

Sure, ads are part of the Super Bowl (read: money-making marketing machine), but that should not distract from the whole point of the event: football. To that end, I’ll intrepidly predict a 49ers victory.

Oh yeah. Here’s Upton’s new ad. Rowr.

About Marc Schenker

Marc Schenker is an editor and writer for DigiYoo.com. Marc gives his own views and opinions. He is a Vancouver freelance writer, and you can find out more about him at marcschenkerwriting.com.